thought...

song of the blog: common ft cee-lo - make my day

it was a pretty good day. got up after sleeping for about 12+ hours. i had to be at work at 530 yesterday morning and i passed out right when i got home. i had to be there at 530 again today. i was pretty much awake right when i got to work so it wasnt bad. just a pretty slow day. straightened some pallets of tile. found an orange bouncy ball. played with that for a bit. twirled a cardboard tube. had some zaxbys. had a nice voicemail on the phone. manager meeting, which was slow today. dont have to go to work til 230 tomorrow afternoon so thats pretty sweet. actually the rest of the week.

ive been thinking about something the past couple of days and i cant really hold down a solid stance on it. im wondering if its a bad outlook on life to never expect the best. i dont mean expecting the worst, i just mean not expecting the best. if you expect the absolute best out of something and it doesnt happen, then you end up disappointed. if you dont expect the best you end up feeling slightly if not at all, disappointed. but then i think that youre avoiding being disappointed but are you missing a message or a lesson about the situation? i mean, good vs evil. out of something bad a lesson can be learned which is in turn used for good. but really, being disappointed isnt evil, and nothing good comes from being disappointed. like one example of this would be a raise at work. you go in expecting to get an amazing raise, and you end up with less than you had expected and youre disappointed, not considering the raise you got. you got a raise, be it $.01 or $100. youre disappointment blinds you to the raise itself. i dont know. ive been mulling it over and cant decide.

there is no cent sign on a keyboard...yep.

my sister spoke to my dad the other day. i haven spoken to him in 4 years now. not going to have anything to do with someone who never wanted anything to do with me. yeah, i saw him over my life, but his wife was always more important than his kids. and it just blows me away that she could do that. she is an adult, and i respect her choice in her life matters, but i certainly disagree with her decision. nothing positive will come out of this and i told her that. nothing good ever comes out of any situation that involves my dad, besides my sister and i being made. so i guess i can say ever. it just drives me crazy when he does the things he does. it blows my mind that his mind works that way. example....he wouldnt help us or my mom get a car. he said we had to get a job and buy one ourselves. okay, thats fine, alot of parents do that. now....its not fine when you buy your adopted son a car....without having a job......so he can play sports......and focus on sports...but not go to college to play sports.....i dont know, to me thats pretty messed up to me. he owed my mom $450 for something he was required to play, but worked his way out of having to pay. didnt help pay for his daughters wedding, because she told him she wanted our grandfather to walk her. man, fuck, its your fault. you need to realize the consequences of your actions. the shit you did in the past caught up. you lose the right to walk her when you werent there for her. just because your the father doesnt give you the rights of a dad. if i have my way, you'll never see austin or kassie or me. i know austins not mine, but i dont want austin to know about him. i dont want austin to get hurt. this is a pretty sensitive subject for me. hes just so ridiculous.

thats all.